Awake

Have you ever felt drunk? Or so exhausted, you fall asleep while talking to someone? You walk around in a white haze, focusing. Focusing until your head aches and screams for sleep. Do you know what it is like when your body is deficient of vitamins? Your brain does not work right. You open your mouth to speak and your brain fails to do its part, your confidence coils up inside yourself and you long for sleep: the only thing to rescue you from the sadness.

And then you learn. It’s your thyroid. It’s your serotonin in your brain. It’s Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. It’s post traumatic stress disorder. You receive the tools and the medicine you need to thrive and your body’s hormones/chemicals realign to reveal a life you’ve never known.

It’s like opening your eyes to the world. Seeing with a brighter eye, smelling with a stronger sense of smell, tasting with deeper gratitude. It is being alive for the first time.

When I met my husband, it was the first time I had ever laid eyes on him. I sat down at a table across from him and stared into the face of a man I would be gazing at for the rest of my life. It was an awakening in that moment, like I had never really lived before then. And I knew in that instant I was home.

It is like finding a job that fits. Finding a passion and purpose in life. Christian yoga is combining two great loves of my life and teaching allows me to share it with the world.

It’s like a young child, naive of the world and unaware of the the implications of her decisions, making a step forward to accept Christ as her Savior. Awake. When I broke down on a bed of tears when I was just a child, I awoke to an awareness of myself and Christ. I began a journey of faith with my Creator. This is the best example of an awakening that I can imagine. But life’s little reminders along the way help to keep it close to mind.

When have you felt more alive than ever before? What made you feel that way?